Funk & Faith

by Will Walker

Moods and dispositions. Circumstance and atmosphere. Tendencies and habits. These are the things that most affect how we feel. And it’s hard to act contrary to how we feel.

Lately I’m in a funk. I don’t want to do anything because I don’t know what to do. I keep thinking about how much I have not accomplished and how we are just a couple bad breaks away from a financial mess. I guess in that way I am jealous of the birds.

My wife thinks I am getting depressed. She said I should really do something about it before it gets worse. “Okay,” I said. “What should I do?” She replied, “Well, you need to identify what is making you feel that way and stop dwelling on those things, you know, and think about what is true and honorable and pure …” (Phil. 4:9). Don’t you just hate it when you feel like crap and someone quotes a verse to you? Thanks honey. I did not know that verse.

She was right, of course. I managed to piece together a few things. When I think about them too much I end up feeling like my life is such a mess. Then I think probably nobody else really knows that because I do such a good job of pretending that I have it all together. That makes me feel alone, and then I get even more depressed about feeling alone.

Jesus told his Father that he wants us all to come to heaven someday so we can see him in all his glory. But not yet. That is the part that made way for the funk.

He wanted us to stay here for a while so we could bring glory to God. He had this idea that if he sent us into the world just like the Father had sent him that people would see us and believe in God. He asked the Father to set us apart as a people that are so changed by his love that we would love each other in the same way. He said this would surely convince the world that God loves us and that he was sent by God.

What I discovered about my funk is that it is about self-absorption, and that the cure for self-absorption is living for others. But sometimes I feel like there is a Christian community funk. When we make community an end in and of itself, those communities become self-absorbed. The cure for that is what Jesus was praying for: “That they may be one, so that the world may believe that You sent me.” It’s community, but with a mission: missional community.

If we want to live missional lives (and form missional communities), we would have to decide that living for ourselves is not satisfying, and that loving each other like Jesus loves us would be. We would have to decide that this world is not our home; that we have been sent here to show the world what Jesus’ love is all about. That means we would not look for satisfaction in anything that the world has to give … success, pleasure, praise. We wouldn’t have to run from those things, but we couldn’t make them our aim. Whatever happens to us, good or bad, the aim of our lives would be to put Christ on display.

 

I’m not saying such a commitment is easy. I fight against self-absorption every day. But if we decided that this is the kind of life that we want to live, then we will get serious about taking action. None of us will merely drift into missional life, no matter how much we like the sound of it.

Beyond that, we would have to do it together. If we intend to actually minister to people around us, loving people who are different than us and putting our lives on display, then we will certainly need everyone to make it work. If people hear the gospel but don’t see a Christ-centered community, it seems fake or irrelevant. If they see a community and don’t hear the gospel, it seems exclusive and judgmental.

This is what I want my life to be about. The funk is about living for something else and feeling the emptiness of it. I’ll concede that the whole thing seems quite idealistic. But that is just it. God calls us to supernatural lives. No one will ever believe Jesus because we manage to look good most of the time.

 

Comments

[d white]

Will-
Thanks for the missional community perspective. Your words in this blog brought to surface something that I have been thinking about for awhile but haven't been able to put a finger on with good description. You pushed me into John 17 today at the coffee shop. It was definitely ordained.

[dusty white]

Comment #2 on the same idea:
This morning I returned to the same coffee shop and the same text. I can't get around John 17. I feel almost like some sort of "slacker Christian" because the sub-culture that I live and work in tells me that I should be chewing on the later part of John by now, but John 17 keeps my attention fixed.

And to think, triggered by the Spirit via your blog. Thanks again for the thoughts.

Pondering oneness with a missional perspective,
dwhite

[Walker]

Thanks Dusty.

I was thinking about oneness with mission in mind this morning. It seems to grate against our notions of community and fellowship, I think, because often we are looking for community and fellowship to meet our own needs (acceptance, entertainment, to look smart, aproval, not singing alone, etc.) Those are all benefits of community, but when what we want in community is exactly that-- what we want -- that is where we get self-absorbed, individually and corporately. Unless what we want is missional, I think our communities will always fall short of what Jesus has in mind.

It is very challenging to consider. It always means that I am going to have to live for someone other than me and that is not usually what I have in mind.

[marilyn]

I am moved by the honesty. do you celebrate grace? to my understanding, i know i have faith in His grace when i relax more and more in His love. that alone, and not a list of to-do's, brings me the joy of the Lord.

even with financial woes.
of course, this is not for those who are truly grieving; Jesus has never asked me to fake healing yet.

[Walker]

Marilyn, thanks for the comments.

I hope you are still checking in because I have some questions in response to your questions. DISCLAIMER: toneless conversation might make this seem like I am annoyed or angry or something. I am definitely not.

I want to dialogue about your questions, but I want to understand them first. I am curious what you mean by "celebrating grace" and why this particular article makes you ask that? (again, this sounds defensive, but it is not ... I really just want to get on the same page because there may be something for me to learn in this conversation).

Also, I am not sure what you mean by "this is not for those who are truly grieving".

Hope to talk more about this with you (and whoever else will join us).

Will

[marilyn]

Hello Walker, I came back. I am glad to converse about whatever I wrote. You write, "curious about 'celebrating grace' and why this particular article makes you ask that?" -- well, I read of your funk, and felt compassion. And since I don't know you, I wondered if you had a mental "list" you were falling short of. Grace, for me, is the reality of being in a non-measuring love relationship with Jesus Christ, and to have His Life in me for daily living. All a gift. Yes, He notices and grieves my sins, but His sweet love is never doled out as a reward for anything good I do.

Grace. That He lives His life in me. A gift, never pulled back. Have you read any books on grace that you like?

I feel a bit rambly in all this, but keep asking and let's count on God to enlighten the eyes of our hearts.
Marilyn

[Walker]

Marilyn, I very much enjoy our dialougue. Thanks for logging in.

I do not think I have a mental list. Of course, maybe not having a mental list is on my mental list.

What I do have at times is a sense that I may be "flying upside down," as Dallas Willard puts it. What I mean by that is that now and then I find myself going though the motions of Christianity (the cultural or profeassional kind) and sense that soemthing is not right. I do not want to live a nice Christian life.

The other thing that happens is I get wrapped in this world, thinking that my life is about what I can get or do here. That kind of pursuit has no other destination than funk, in my opinion. I am serious about the only thing worth living for being the Gospel (see Should I Stay Or Should I go Now?)

Grace ... I like grace. A lot. A lot of grace, that is. I don't want to write about how I don't have a problem witih God's grace ... I probably do. I'm a mess and nobody should think otherwise. One book that I enjoyed very much in this arena is Ragamuiffin Gospel. I did not think I had a problem receiving God's love until I read that book.

Perhaps the funk is not about receiving God's love, but rather how to respond.

[marilyn]

Hola,
I have had Ragamuffin Gospel recommended to me twice now by two good minds.

Have you read Birthright by David Needham? (An old Critical Concern book, deals on the identity of the Christian - NOT "a sinner saved by grace" now, but truly a new being in Christ. Very in line with Martin-Lloyd Jones on Romans.) I think of that because you say, "I get wrapped in this world, thinking my life is about what I can get or do here." And your dissatisfaction with that is so true to yourself, the real you in Christ (there is no other; the old Will is dead.) Another book called Grace Walk be McVey says,
"the flesh gratifies but it doesn't satisfy." (That is also a fine book, not so seemingly intellectual, but rather plainspoken. Very worthwhile.)

Sometimes these things sound simplistic but they are like a surprising archaeological dig...sudden eye popping stuff, underneath our feet.

Anyway, the reason I truly hope you read one of the above books is that you say "I'm a mess and nobody should think otherwise." Your flesh, my flesh, is a mess. But that's our old mortal body that has a pull to sin, not our very self in Christ. We are here to master that body for Jesus. Mind, body.

Anyway, you have inspired me to think about writing more.

Grace and peace to you, brother; Marilyn

[Walker]

excellent thoughts. This venue always makes me feel like I am trying to calrify/justify things I say. When I say I am a mess, I simply mean that I do not have it all together, and that just because I know things does not mean I live them out. I just want to avoid trying to convince everyone that I do not have any problems. I do, and in that sense I am a mess.

[Marilyn]

You are gracious. Thanks for clarifying.

A friend of mine has enjoyed some of your thoughts as well now. I am wishing that you and your fellow writers were linked by some of the sites I have seen and not liked as well, such as Martin Roth and his recommendations. I really don't know how people find blogs.

In any case, thanks for putting another voice for God into the world.
Marilyn