A day in the life of a transsexual

Written by Bob Thune

The conversation started like lots of conversations I have as a pastor. Amber grabbed me before our weekly prayer meeting to ask if I’d meet with a friend of hers from school – a homosexual who’s not yet a believer in Christ, but who’s been asking lots of questions about faith. Sure, I said. Then the conversation took a left turn into uncharted waters. She told me that Ryan was an outcast at school because he dresses up as a woman once a week. He’s scheduled a sex-change operation for next spring. He’s “married” to a lesbian woman as a mere formality, to allow them to pursue their homosexual lifestyles discreetly. His parents have disowned him and he hasn’t set foot in a church since childhood. He wanted to meet the following night.

Now, homosexuality is deep water… lots of soul-scars and wounds to sort through. And I don’t even feel adequate for that. So how in the world am I supposed to minister the gospel to a cross-dressing trans-sexual? I hit my knees and began to pray – for Ryan, yes, but more for myself. Because Ryan’s impression of me will shape his impression of God. So if I come across as uncaring or arrogant or judgmental or harsh or prideful or fearful or selfish… How zealously I want to avoid that! How desperately I want Ryan to see the sin-cancelling, soul-satisfying love of Christ as we converse! But how can he? I’ll screw it up – I know I will. I’m so inadequate to extend the healing love of the Savior to someone as broken as this. I have a nagging doubt that I’ll only drive him further from the cross.

So I swore as I prayed. Only in situations like this can I do it with a clear conscience. Because God knows what I’m thinking anyway. And what I’m thinking is: “Holy %*#@!” I’m scared spitless because of my own sin and inability, and then I’m scared spitless again by the gravity of the situation and the importance of what’s at stake. I’m so scared, all I can do is pray and cuss.

As I’m driving to the coffee shop, praying with fervor, a supernatural peace begins to come over me. I imagine it’s the same calm a fighter pilot feels before a dogfight or a veteran quarterback on 4th-and-10. But it’s infinitely better because it doesn’t come out of my own confidence. There are times when I can viscerally FEEL the presence of the Holy Spirit guiding me. This is one of those times.

As I sit down across from Amber and Ryan, I’m stunned by his serenity. I guess I was expecting Ru-Paul or something. I ask if I can pray before we begin. He bristles visibly at the request, motioning for Amber and I to go ahead. So we pray for him and for ourselves, in the powerful name of Jesus. And then we dive in.

Ninety minutes later, we’ve talked about a lot of things. Most importantly, we’ve talked about the gospel. We’ve talked about how “all we like sheep have gone astray” (Is. 53:6) and how “the wages of sin is death” (Rom 6:23) and how “whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life” (John 3:16). I’ve made Ryan read all these verses aloud. It’s clear that we’re only going to scratch the surface tonight; but I want the truth of God’s Word bouncing around in his psyche tomorrow. I want him to know that the main issue isn’t his homosexuality or his cross-dressing or his gender confusion. The main issue is that he needs to be reconciled to His Creator. And tonight, by His grace, God has committed to me the ministry of reconciliation (2 Cor 5:19).

So I walk out of the coffee shop with a new friend. I’m not sure what will happen from here. Ryan isn’t ready to trust in Christ yet, and I’m not sure if he ever will be. But God is up to something in his life. So I’ll pray, and I’ll trust God, and I’ll thank Jesus for students like Amber, who are living out the Great Commandment. This is why it’s fun to be a minister.

I can’t help wondering: if Ryan came to my church, would his experience be any different than the numerous bad experiences he’s had so far? Probably not. And I think that grieves the heart of the Father. So I’m half-wishing Ryan will show up sometime soon, dressed in drag. I think it would do our church some good. Jesus said, “It’s not the healthy who need a physician, but the sick.” The kingdom of heaven isn’t for self-righteous, well-dressed suburbanites who don’t see themselves as sick. It’s for cross-dressing trans-sexuals who are willing to admit their need.

Comments

[The Divine Conspiracy]

"Blessed are the spiritual zeros - the spiritually bankrupt, deprived and deficient, the spiritual beggars, those without a wisp of 'religion' - when the kingdom of the heavens comes upon them."

Dallas Willard's translation of Matthew 5:3 found in The Divine Conspiracy, p. 100

[Patrick]

Bob, I have been reading many of your articles online and I must say how much I appreciate your honesty, especially on this one. Homosexuality and transgenderism is such a sore topic in the church. It's sore for Christians because it is a sin that we view as "outside of the church." "Those who are believers commit sins, but the sins we have are different than those of sinners. The sins of homosexuality, promiscuity, and the like are sins of non-believers. They're worse than our sins of gossipping, and lying, and not reading our bible. They need a savior much worse than we do." I have thought this. I admit that sometimes I have felt hopeless for the gays, when in fact I am as guilty as them. It's also a scarce topic in the church because "those people" aren't like us. They freak us out, myself included sometimes. As accepting as I try to be, I must admit that I view someone differently if I know they are gay.
Its also a sore topic for the gays because they have been cast out. We have been so unwelcoming as Christians that they want nothing to do with us. There is a difference between accepting of a person and accepting of a behavior, and churches fail to draw that line. We either cast them out or condone the behavior, neither of which is beneficiary. I am ashamed that if I were to invite someone I know who is gay to church and they ask "Will I be cast out" that I would not know how to respond. It scares the daylights out of me because we are alienating them from God by our actions. Bob... bring Ryan to church. I will sit by him. I will feel awkward while doing it. But our unaccepting image has got to go.

[Wes Wilmer]

Bob,
I miss talking with you about stuff like this!! I pray that there will be more "Ryan's" that show up in your ministry because of your faithfulness with this one. We can't control how are churches respond, but we can control how we do. It's sinners like me, you, and Ryan that are called to drink of the Living Water. I pray that Ryan will come and drink. "To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the water of life. He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son"--Rev. 21:6-7. Keep bringing them to the Fountain.

Blessings,
Wes

[Campbell]

Bob,

I was just skimming through your articles and realized that somehow I missed this one. What a refreshing article to read! It brings joy to my heart to know that God set up an appointment for you and Ryan to meet - for both of your sakes. You were stretched and responded with faith by praying and meeting with Ryan. And Ryan heard the gospel in truth and love. Praise God!

Have you heard from Ryan since you both met?

Deo Gloria,

Dave

[TERRY]

DEAR SIR,
i READ WHAT YOU WROTE AND THINK TO MYSELF THAT THERE MAY BE CHRISTIANS WHO HAVE GONE TO CHURCH AND STRUGGLED WITH WHAT YOU WROTE ABOUT AND BECAUSE OF HOW THE CHURCH REACTS TO THIS, THEY HAVE LEFT IT AND CANNOT GO TO THE CHURCH FOR HELP BECAUSE THE CHURCH OR PEOPLE "IN CHURCH" CANNOT DEAL WITH THESE ISSUES AND THESE PEOPLE END UP DRIFTING THRU THE WORLD AS SHEEP WITHOUT A PASTOR! I AM SO AWARE OF THE MEN IN THE CHURCH AND HOW THEY REACT TO THESE THINGS AND NOT JUST THE MEN BUT THE ATTENDING CHURCH PEOPLE WHO SO GENERALIZE MEN AND WOMEN THAT THEY SOUND IGNORANT AND UNEQUIPPED TO DEAL WITH THESE ISSUES. AND PERHAPS THEY ARE, BUT WHO IS? GOD IS, YES, BUT WILL HIS PEOPLE EVER BE????